Where to Start

I have been debating for a few weeks about starting another blog.  My last blog, The Lebo 3, was a great way to keep everyone informed about the progressing pregnancy with our triplets.  Since we lost them, I have sort of become lost myself.  It has been 5 months now since their birth and death, and I seem to be just stuck.  No one asks anymore how things are.  Sometimes I wonder if people forgot, but I suppose most people think I should be well on my way to healing and being over the worst part of it.  Maybe people just don't want to ask because they don't want the answer or the awkwardness that follows.  Soooo...I guess I have decided that it will be free therapy for me to vomit my feelings into the vast emptiness of the internet.  I do not know where to go from here.  I do not know if I even want people to read all the awful things that I might post on here, but I am not sure what else to do.  I need to get it out.  I need to purge.  The once a week grief support group, as wonderful as it is, is just not enough, and therapy, well, I haven't been in a while.  My counselor has left the practice, and I am being handed off to someone new.  YUCK!  Who wants to go through the process of catching up another stranger about your entire life to this point.  I will go back, just haven't.  I suppose I am procrastinating just for the shear pain in the butt it is going to be.  Just to get the emotional fortitude up to write what I have so far this evening took about a week.  You think I'm kidding???!!!  I messed with a layout for a few hours today, then uploaded the beautiful pictures on the side that were done by Carly Marie from http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com.  You should check her out, she is wonderful.  Anyway, I think I am done for the evening.  I will try to be as honest as I possibly can on here, while changing the names to protect the innocent.  If no one reads my words, that's fine too.  I think I just need to get them out.  Till next time, (when I will update from pregnancy to loss for those who are behind) I leave you with my year in photos, courtesy of a silly Facebook app.